my life - my thoughts

Looking West

A thousand twinkling lights, blanket the horizon. Stained with orange lamps, clouds rush overhead, obscuring the white globe that tentatively saunters across the sky. Sleepy heads rest while I sit above it all, observing the sleepless scene. Day break is miles behind as the darkness scares the wandering souls that consider themselves owls. The trees sway amid the harsh winter breeze, making a point of their menacing shadows that merge into the darkness of their heart. Fields of green turn grey; whilst waiting for colour, and the bark of dog owners, calling the astray mongrel that escapes their call. All is distant in the black that covers this land. Hazy visions try to remember where they reside, while truckers drive like they depend on the income it provides. The park bench once full and wanted has become desolate except for the bodies of the lost. The distance curves beyond vision, paths become alone and in solitude wet with the tears of the gods. My light accepts that it will not find peace, as its owner is an insomniac.

- Ian Wallis

I look up one night and see it. Shimmering in the dark night sky, it releases my brain from all the noise. A perfect speckled disk, so far away yet it feels so close. Thirty minutes go by and I find myself mesmerized by this rock. I ponder about the billions of other people that have found themselves floating amongst the stars, as if this is our connection to the universe and our souls.

- Ian Wallis 15.01.2014


Crammed like sardines everyone forces there way around as if they actually have someone to save in a short period of time to an outside spectator it must be the most surreal thing to witness I imagine them all as a shoal of fish trying to escape the nets that aren’t chasing them.

You get caught up in it and act like the crowds of people around you.

I have to stop myself.

Take a minute.

Slow down my steps.

Continue at my own pace.

I am my own person.

- Ian Wallis

one bad day my brain will totally let go of the leashes around my problems and the leap will become that much easier


The Great Dictator.

Charlie Chaplain, great life-affirming speech. If this doesn’t put a fire in your veins then you may be dead. Or a robot. 

Intp Confession #57



I am genuinely shocked to find out that people actually like me or respect me as much as they do. Against my better judgement, I am cursed with this constant belief that people’s default stance towards me is an “I hate you”.

So absolutely true for me, sadly.

why I write.


I write because I’m lonely. I write because it’s the best way to have a truly deep conversation with another’s soul. I write because I’m honest. I write because I’m a liar. I write because I’m selfish and stubborn and proud. I write because I need to hear what I want others too, as well. I write because we’re all in this together. I’m not afraid to bear my soul on paper or in text, and so I write because it heals me; it breaks me down every time and builds me back up. I write because it’s too noisy in my head and things take on a little more clarity once they go outside for a smoke. I write because it’s my gift and I want to use it for something good.

I don’t write because I want to change the world.

I write because I hope to inspire that person who does.

Teehee - I can wear hats and hoods for the first time in about 6 years!

Teehee - I can wear hats and hoods for the first time in about 6 years!

The de-dreading…… Might need to change my tumblr name…..